Friday, May 22, 2020

My Guardian Angel

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As I wake up every morning, there she is to brighten up my day.When I go to sleep at night she is still there to wish me a good night.It's too bad she's just a picture up on my wall.I wasn't even born yet when my grandma passed away.My mom was barely five months pregnant with me.Even though my grandma can't be physically present with me, I know that spiritually she is here with me.Growing up I heard remarkable stories about my grandma, how she was so caring, strong, and just a person filled with plenty of love.All those stories were enough to touch my heart, that's why my grandma is my role model.She brings a smile to my face when I'm feeling blue, lets me appreciate my life, and showed me the true meaning of a commitment.


My grandma was a loving person with words of wisdom; she always knew what to say and when to say it.I remember one story my mom had told me, of when she first found out she was pregnant with me.She felt ashamed, because she was forty-two years old and pregnant.My mom had six other children; they were all male the oldest at the time was twenty-one and the youngest was three.My grandma told her, "Don't be ashamed for a child is a gift of God, and this child should be received into this world as a blessing.If you are pregnant it was because God wanted you to have what you have always hoped for, a little girl." What my grandma told my mom made her feel special and blissful.No longer did my mom feel ashamed of her pregnancy; it was true what my grandma said, "A child is a gift of god." And there was nothing to be ashamed about.


During this time, my grandma was on her deathbed; she would spend her days in ICU.She would tell my mom, "I might not be around when your little girl is born, but I


assure you that I will be there for her birth and I will be there to help you raise her and protect her even if I can not be there physically."My mom shed tears when my grandma told her that, for she believed that my grandma would still have more life left in her. Unfortunately, my grandma passed away when my mom was five months pregnant.But my mom never forgot what my grandma had told her, and when it was time for my mom to give birth, after twelve long hours of labor there I was, a healthy baby girl who she named Lorena.This was supposed to be a time of complete happiness, but my grandma's absence made it incomplete.My mom recalls that while she was still in the hospital, she had a dream where my grandma came to her and told her, "I told you I would be here, and you have such a beautiful daughter." It was in that instant that my mom woke up looked over at me in my crib, and began to cry.


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Grandma always had a smile on her face and always wanted everyone to be happy.My older cousins and brothers tell me my grandma was the best.She knew what to do and say when they were feeling down.Her words of wisdom were, "A smile everyday keeps the devil and bad spirits away." With those words, my cousins and brothers would smile and be happy once again.Being possessed by evil is not a good thing, that is why when I'm feeling down I look at my grandma's picture, for it instantaneously brings a smile to my face, because it reminds me of her words.


The most touching story that was told to me about my grandma was said to me by my cousin Elvia, it was about commitment.She told me that one day, she had asked grandma, "How did you manage to stay by grandpa's side so many years and why"?Grandpa was a heavy drinker and was a very aggressive man.My grandma's response to her was, "I know that at your grandpa's side I suffered plenty but I also had the best times of my life with him, for he had given me ten beautiful children, but most important of them all were my wedding vows.When I made the promise till death do us apart, I really meant it.They're words that shouldn't be said if you don't mean them; you should take those words to heart, especially because you make that promise in front of God.That's why I'm still with your grandpa; he's my soulmate whom I chose to spend my entire life with, to love, to cherish, for better or for worse, I stood strong and look at us now.We're one of the happiest, strongest couples there could be."


When my cousin finished telling me the story I couldn't help but to break down and cry; those were the most beautiful words I had ever heard.I never understood the true meaning of a commitment and marriage, until that day.This is what kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life.My plans of getting married were canceled, how was I going to get married with someone I wasn't sure I really loved.It made me look at life in a different way, it made me realize marriage is a commitment that you hold forever, and it's a promise that should never be broken.


All those stories my family told to me touched my life and made me see things in a different perspective.I was unfortunate and missed out on being a part of her life.But those loved filled stories fill my heart with her presence even though she is not really there.Just the thought of her reminds me of life, commitment, and brings me happiness along with faith."A mother knows best," is what my mom says my grandma would tell her, now my mom tells me the same thing, and when I have my children I will say that to them too.I know that when I become a grandma I will be the best I could be, but not as good as my grandma, for she was unique and no one could ever compare to her.That day in the hospital when my mom began to cry when she looked at me, wasn't because of the dream, it was because she had seen my grandma's spirit beside my crib caressing my face.My grandma kept her word, being with my mom at my birth, and I know that she'll also keep her word on protecting me, that is why I believe she is my guardian angel.


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